These last few months I've been thinking a lot about grace, and all that goes along with it. I've kind of realized that I'm a perfectionist (big surprise) and that has been affecting how I view God.
I've been reading a book called "A Glimpse of Jesus," and a couple of things I have been really thinking about.
"I hope it is clear that feelings of guilt, accompanied by anxiety, fear and restlessness, arise from deep within ourselves and are not an accurate gauge of the state of our souls before God. We cannot assume that he feels about us the way we feel about ourselves, unless we love ourselves freely and intensely."
"The perfectionist interprets weakness as mediocrity and inconsistency as a loss of nerve. Their desire for perfection is so acute that it transcends the desire for God...But because the perfectionist measures her personal worth before God in terms of the acquisition of virtue and the elimination of vice...there's a conspicuous absence of peace and joy."
I've kind of thought I should just do my duty, get stuff done, and be as good as I can--but that's leaving a lot out of the picture. It's leaving grace and freedom out of the picture.
It's kind of one of those things where grace is all right for some people, but it wasn't for me.
But guess what? I haven't done a single thing good enough for God to be impressed. He doesn't care about all the achievements I have, or what I get done. He loved me fiercely, intensely before I even thought about him. He loves me when I mess up or say something stupid. He isn't waiting around for me to be "just right"
These verses kind of sum up what's I've been thinking.
Galatians 5:1
For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.
Romans 5:5-8
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
